This is a subject that I am very scared to write about, I keep telling myself not to write about it, should I listen to myself? Honestly I am not sure.. I really need to get this off my chest but I don’t know where I should start..
I never want to become one of those mums who don’t listen to their children’s concerns and problems, shouldn’t a mother give guidance and wisdom to their child, make them feel safe and secure?
Not the mother I know.. My mother isn’t even the slightest concerned about my problems nor her grandchildren well not mine anyway..
How can a mother randomly ring her daughter up and make her feel as if she is worthless? This is why I have deicide to never answer those random phone calls again, you might be thinking you never want to talk to your mum? Well would you if she only rings you once every 6 months? Not even in the morning only late at night, she never rings in the morning. When I had I.C.P with Laila in fact the whole pregnancy she didn’t even ring me once after I had my c-section she never even called to say congratulations, she came to see her and Lily once for 5 minutes. Lily keeps asking me why she hasn’t got a Nan it is very hard to explain this to her. The last ever conversation I had with my mum ended in tears and I never want to feel like that again. She thinks Laila’s name is Lila for some strange reason, She even called me disgusting for breastfeeding, She never rings on Lily’s or Laila’s birthdays nor mine which doesn’t bother me, I just don’t know how I’m going to explain to the girls.
There is so many memories I can type about this subject but honestly I think this post would never end, I just wanted to get this rant off of my chest and I feel so much better for it! I am debating if I should post this or not. It is going to be very hard to press publish but I think sharing this will help take some of the weight off.