I never want to become one of those mums…

This is a subject that I am very scared to write about, I keep telling myself not to write about it, should I listen to myself? Honestly I am not sure.. I really need to get this off my chest but I don’t know where I should start..

I never want to become one of those mums who don’t listen to their children’s concerns and problems, shouldn’t a mother give guidance and wisdom to their child, make them feel safe and secure?

Not the mother I know.. My mother isn’t even the slightest concerned about my problems nor her grandchildren well not mine anyway..

How can a mother randomly ring her daughter up and make her feel as if she is worthless? This is why I have deicide to never answer those random phone calls again, you might be thinking you never want to talk to your mum? Well would you if she only rings you once every 6 months? Not even in the morning only late at night, she never rings in the morning. When I had I.C.P with Laila in fact the whole pregnancy she didn’t even ring me once after I had my c-section she never even called to say congratulations, she came to see her and Lily once for 5 minutes. Lily keeps asking me why she hasn’t got a Nan it is very hard to explain this to her. The last ever conversation I had with my mum ended in tears and I never want to feel like that again. She thinks Laila’s name is Lila for some strange reason, She even called me disgusting for breastfeeding, She never rings on Lily’s or Laila’s birthdays nor mine which doesn’t bother me, I just don’t know how I’m going to explain to the girls.

There is so many memories I can type about this subject but honestly I think this post would never end, I just wanted to get this rant off of my chest and I feel so much better for it! I am debating if I should post this or not. It is going to be very hard to press publish but I think sharing this will help take some of the weight off.

Yaki Soba Recipe

IMG_7355

Preparation time: 15 mins
Cooking time: 20 mins

I thought I would share this recipe with use because its very easy and tastes amazing!

Ingredients 

  • 1 green pepper
  • 1 carrot thinly sliced
  • 1/4 sliced white cabbage
  • 1 onion sliced
  • 1 tbsp of sesame oil
  • Packet of fresh egg noodles
  • 330g of pork loin steaks sliced
  • Eggs (optional)

For the sauce

  • 1 tbsp of Mirin
  • 2 tbsp of Soy
  • 3 tbsp Worcestershire sauce

Firstly mix all the sauce ingredients in a bowl or jug and set aside then begin to prep the veg and meat.

IMG_7344IMG_7346

Heat some oil in a wok until it is fairly hot then add the meat and stir fry until the meat is just about cooked then you remove it from the wok and put to the side. Then turn the heat down to a medium heat and add the onions, carrots, green pepper and cabbage then stir fry for about 10 minutes or until your preferred texture. If you want boiled eggs with your dish then this is the time to start boiling them.

IMG_7352IMG_7354

Once your vegetables are to your preferred texture return the meat along with the egg noodles and sauce, toss everything together and cook for about 3-5 minutes. Then serve and enjoy!

This morning my heart stopped…

So today started like any other nursery morning. The alarm went off at 7 am.. It didn’t feel like 7 am I just wanted to roll over and go back to sleep, but sadly I forced myself to roll out of bed and started getting ready to take Lily nursery, after I finished getting ready it was time wake LiIy up. Lily brushes her teeth while I pick out her clothes for the day then I give her a wash and get her dressed after this we head down stairs to have breakfast.

But this is when my heart stopped and I ran into my bedroom to tell Bradley, our front door was wide open! I was shaking! Is someone still in our house? What has been taken? How long has it been open for? Why didn’t we wake up? These was all the thoughts going though my head.. I took a deep breath and started to head down stairs I was so scared and hoping no one was still there, what was gone? I shut then front door and walked towards to living room.. I peaked around the door and I was instantly confused! Everything was fine! Nothing was taken, I walked to my kitchen and again nothing was touched! I was so happy!! I have never felt so lucky and I am truly thankful!!

I am still confused how my door was open, I am getting Bradley to set up our camera, it runs though WIFI so we can always watch it..  I wish we had set it up so we could of seen what happened with our door, but I guess that’s going to remain a mystery. Today has opened my eyes to how quickly things can change and I am truly thankful with everything I have got.

IMG_1111Especially these people!!

This years wish list.

I know, I know… I may be writing this a bit late, But its not February yet so I thought I’d sneak it in, well this year I want to cross off everything on this list maybe not in order that may be a bit hard! So here we go 🙂

1. Go on our first family holiday.
I would love to experience this as a family, as a kid we use to go on holiday once a year and I loved it! I would love to do the same with my kids, I would love to take them to Disney Land for their first holiday!!

disney land

2. To have our 3rd child
I want to complete our family and have our final child while the age gaps aren’t too big, this will be exciting but strange as we have not tried to have kids before.. Hopefully this will be crossed off soon.

SAM_1804

3. To get to the bottom of Lily’s behaviour.
With her not eating its a very big stress, she’s very tearful and I have started noticing signs of possible A.D.H.D but for now I am more concerned about the eating.

IMG_6309

4. To get the kids into a hobby
Lily has asked if she can learn ballet and our local dance place does classes for Lily’s and Laila’s age, Laila loves dancing so I think this will do them good!
ballet%20shoes
5. Save money
This must be on everyone’s list right? At the moment I am shopping at different supermarkets to find out which one I save the most at. Nappies and baby wipes I go to Aldis as they have never let me down and I find these much better than expensive brands.

6. Learn to drive
Where I live to get to places more exciting its a lot easier if you drive, I started my lessons when I was 16 and passed my theory but it started snowing and I was scared of driving in the snow so I took a break but for some reason never took it up again.

I have gave myself 6 things I want to do this year I know it might not look much but I don’t want to give myself to much at once and hopefully I can tick them all off by 2016, I would love to know your list if you have one 🙂

Our Sundays

Sunday is a day we look forward to as it means a lovely roast dinner, family fun and treats! Today wasn’t bad of a start as we all woke up at 9 am which is pretty impressive for us! We came downstairs and had some breakfast then after that we got dressed for the day and started getting the roast prepared for dinner time, I took some photos while waiting for the oven to pre-heat

IMG_7224IMG_7233

Today for some reason was slightly more stressful though. Lily and Laila had one of those days where they didn’t want to get along with each other. There was a lot of tears today so I am glad I took there photos when I did. This made me start dreading dinner time with Lily as I knew what mood she was in today. After tidying up Lily and Laila’s room the chicken was ready to take out of the oven and dinner was ready to be dished up here are some yummy photos of our dinner 🙂
IMG_7244 IMG_7245

At first things looked good with Lily, when I told her it is dinner time she shouted “Oh goodie!” She then ate her carrots which she loves and also the stuffing. Then she started making excuses how she needed the toilet and dropping things on the floor repeatedly, this disheartens me every time, well guess what 3 and an half hours later she ate most of it. We didn’t have her sitting at the table for that long though as she was on and off, and in this time she just kept asking for privileges which she didn’t eat enough of her dinner yet to have earned them so she kept saying she would eat it.. again and again.

We sat in the living room and played with some toys for a while and watched some cartoons on the T.V. until it was time for dessert, and for that we had some cherry sponge cakes with custard, I have never had these before but they were really nice!

IMG_7248 IMG_7250                                       As Lily finally ate a good amount of her dinner she was allowed to have some.. sadly she only had two spoonfuls and did not want any more. I am really worried about her as the whole eating situation seems to be effecting her moods and as you can imagine effects the rest of us too.

IMG_7253 IMG_7247

After dessert, I done some general housework while the kids played with daddy, I came to join them shortly after. Bedtime for the Lily and Laila is 7pm but Laila dose not quite follow this everyday. I am hoping Lily’s mood is better tomorrow, as she went to bed crying because she did not want to go to nursery in the morning, she has never done this before so I am really concerned. Now me and Bradley are going to watch a movie (Fault In Our Stars) before we go to bed.

So we’ve seen the paediatrician

Yesterday we took our long journey to hospital for Lily’s appointment. We have to travel an hour away for our nearest hospital as the only thing we have local to us is a minor injury’s unit. I didn’t mind this journey to much as Lily loves travelling on trains and buses and luckily for her we had to travel on both. We had a lovely time on the train Lily was looking out the window showing me all the things she could see and asking lots of questions especially when she saw the lakes frozen over.

Hopsital 1

We arrived at the hospital an hour early, I did expect this as at our train station the trains only come once an hour, so its either an hour early or an hour late, I think Lily liked being an hour early though as she could play for longer in the waiting room, as soon as we arrived at the children’s outpatients she knew exactly what she wanted to play with as she ran straight over to the kitchen to start making me some yummy soup and gravy.. Yum! (a totally normal combination) after a little while we got called in by the nurse to weigh and measure her, Lily was a bit unsure about sitting on the big blue chair to get weighed but she agreed to sit there in the end. Lily weighed 12.76 kg and measured 96 cm, then we had to go back again to wait for the paediatrician.

Back in the waiting room Lily was drawing me pictures for me to colour in, she soon got bored of that and started making me more soup! After waiting for a while we finally got called in by the paediatrician, after explaining to her my concerns about Lily’s eating and weight gain and also suspecting she may have IBD like myself because on occasions she has blood and mucus in her stools (sorry, TMI) she showed me that 1 and an half years ago she weighed 11.01 kg and said she hasn’t lost any weight which I didn’t really see her point as to gain only that much weight in 1 and an half years surely that isn’t a good sign. In the end she referred us to a dietician and gave me the dreaded blood test forms along with urine and stool sample pots.

Back in the waiting room (AGAIN!) waiting for Lily to be called in for her blood tests was rather nerve racking for me. This time Lily wanted to play a cooking app on my phone making some virtual cookies for us so I let her play it so she couldn’t see that I was a little worried as I didn’t want to make her worried or upset either and of course this wait seemed to be the longest out of all of them! But she finally got called in and was asked to sit on my lap with a frozen book they gave her, the nurse showed Lily her freeze spray and sprayed it on her hand to show her what it feels like, Lily wasn’t impressed one bit! Then they took one arm and put it under my arm and around my back so she couldn’t see, I was trying to distract her but she didn’t like the fact that she couldn’t see what was going on as the nurse sprayed her arm with freeze spray again which made her a little curious and then they stuck the needle in, it broke my heart seeing her scream and cry the way she did. They was very quick and patient with her which was fantastic! She got to pick her sticker out which was a Jake and the never-land pirate’s one.

Now it was time for the journey home. and I for one was starving! I asked Lily if she was hungry she replied with “just a little bit.” (Note to self next time is to bring a packed lunch!) After getting off the bus we walked to the train station, Lily saw a shop on the platform and asked for a milkshake, so we quickly popped in there and got her a little milkshake with some squirty cream on top too and a few other bits for our train journey home, Lily was so well behaved yesterday and it’s little things like this that makes me so proud of her! I couldn’t believe how quickly she drank the milkshake too! Hopefully our next appointment isn’t to far away!

Hopsital 2 hopsital 3